These days going out can be really challenging. People in their masks and people without all feel like a similar threat. You can’t see peoples smiles but then when you do you think to yourself ‘why are they not wearing a bleeding mask!!’. This is all I seem to think when sitting on a bus. I don’t ware a mask due to my PTSD and I wear a badge saying how I’m exempt. But this still doesn’t stop people from judging me and me judging others. I have to admit that I look younger than 24; well, a lot younger. So, in my head when I’m riding the bus all I can hear in my head is others saying “oh look another millennial not bothering and putting us all at risk. She can’t have a proper health excuse”. This is the problems with hidden illnesses they can hit at any age and they have no signs. I know my own signs of destress and they are usually my teeth chattering and twitching. But to others on the outside they just see a girl who is cold and cant sit still. Before I had CPTSD I never thought of any of these and would probably judge like everyone else. That is a fact that scares me. The fact that I was so narrow minded. The fact that I was quick to judge and dismiss.
Through this pandemic and my mental health struggle I have to say no matter what age people are drowning underneath. We need to listen more, love more and not judge. We need to be less self-focused and more aware of people and the fact that no matter what age they have their own hell in life.
That person who wears loads of make-up, the person who doesn’t say a lot, the one with the reasting bitch face or the one that spends 10 attempts to fold the newspaper perfectly. All of these people are like ducks; they look a certain way on the surface but inside they are fighting their own battles. You can say that a smile can be that mask as well but seeing someone smile at you can sometimes make your day. In a world full of these masks, I think we should stop hiding from those we love, be open to the world and share a smile or a nod to make someone else smile. Make happiness contagious and not Corona.
abstract-expressions 